Baby No More

Tonight I put my last baby to bed for her last night as a baby. When she wakes up in the morning, she will be a two year old.

I feel weird. Not sad, necessarily, because I'm one of those freaks who thinks the age of two is a whole lot of fun, but more...I don't know...wistful, maybe.

When Curly turned 2 I was 7 months pregnant with StinkyMan. When StinkyMan turned 2, Peanut was a 1 month old. When Peanut turned 2, BabyGirl was 6 months old. I have had a baby in the house for 7.5 years running, more or less.

But not anymore.

2 years ago I was in the hospital, being induced for high blood pressure. Husband just kept saying "Didn't we just do this? I can't believe we are doing this again!"

She was gorgeous and definitively my last. I knew, even as I pushed to bring her into this world, that I would never do that again. I remember thinking to myself that I needed to savor it, all of it, because I wouldn't be back to labor and delivery.

And then they took her from me and moved her to the NICU in another hospital 40 minutes away and I had to stay where I was. I will forever be grateful to the nurse who came on duty the night BabyGirl and I were separated. She walked into my room, flipped open my chart, read it, looked at me and said "Oh, Honey. You want a big ol' strong sleeping pill?" With thankful tears I nodded. I didn't see getting through the long night any other way. Even now I get watery eyed just thinking about her kindness on that miserable night.

I was discharged the next day and went to see my baby.

She was in good hands and in better condition than many of the other babies there. In fact, she looked like a beast compared to some. Even with all the wires and machines she was breath taking.

She came home with us about a week later. It seemed endlessly long that she was in that NICU.

Now it seems like I blinked once and 2 years went by.

And I have no more babies in the house.

Happy Birthday to my 2 year old; my beautiful, sunshiney, stubborn, sweet, happy, smart, funny BabyGirl. You may not be a baby, but you will always be MY baby. I love you.