The Pretty Pretty Princess Party

Today Peanut turned 3. The only thing she asked for was a "pretty, pretty princess party." Since she doesn't go to school and really only has one little friend, we kept it small (which is still big compared a lot of families) and celebrated a day early. Good Mommy came through with a pretty good cake too:



She kept hugging me and saying "It's so pretty!" as I was making it. It took two hours and one MAJOR hand cramp to make it, but the happiness it brought her made it so worth it.

Dear Peanut,

You are my little ray of sunshine. Even when a storm cloud brews over your head, it passes in seconds and that big beaming smile returns. That smile is so big it takes up half your face and it makes me smile too.

You are a tiny bundle of energy. It makes me laugh that you don't even weigh 10 pounds for each year that you've been alive. You are smart, hilarious, sweet and kind. We are so, so lucky to have you in our family. Thank you for being such a wonderful little girl.

Love,
Mommy

Thanks...

...to readers Carolyn, Wendy and Gretchen for signing up for Swagbucks through my blog. You may have noticed that the Swagbucks format has changed a bit over the last day or two, but you are still earning bucks none the less.

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Daddy To The Rescue

Peanut: Mommy, tomorrow I want to go swimming.

Mommy: I think it's too cold outside for swimming.

Peanut: That's OK. Daddy will fix it.

Oh

StinkyMan posed a question yesterday that hurt my heart on a couple of levels.

"Mommy, how come some people hate some people?"

Oh.

Oh!

That is such a hard question to answer and it makes me sad that at the ripe old age of almost 5, he even knows anything at all about hate. We don't use that word in our house. It's a punishable offense.

I tried to think fast, tried to frame my answer on a preschool level and tried to remember that his version of "hate" is the kid who takes your playground ball and not Nazis and terrorists and hate crimes.

"Well...." I said carefully, trying to be truthful and simple all at once. "I think some people have too much energy and time to think about what they don't like. And all that energy and time turns into hate. If they spent time and energy thinking about what they like about someone, they might make friends instead. Like if you don't like somebody, you could think 'I don't really like that guy, but he has a nice smile.' "

He looked confused, so I pressed on.

"See, you don't have to love everyone. You don't even have to like everyone. It's OK not to like somebody. But when you don't like someone, just don't worry about them. Find something else to think about, like what you are going to have for lunch or what game you are going to play on the Wii when you get home. Hate takes a lot of energy and makes you an unhappy person. It's such a waste of your brain and your heart."

"It's not nice to hate somebody." He said solemnly from the backseat of the car.

"No, it isn't." I looked at my boy in the rear view mirror. "Who do you know who hates somebody?"

"Nobody. Everybody I know is nice."

"That's good, Bub. I'm glad you have such nice people around you."

If only it were that simple for the world, no? I wish all of us, especially the children, could never know hate. I wish there were more tolerance for differences. I wish my children would never have to learn that the world is filled with hate and hateful people. I wish no one hid their hate behind "tradition" or "religion" or "history" or "culture". I wish we could all just think about what's for lunch or what Wii game we want to play when we get home. I wish that we could all learn to appreciate each other and understand that while we may not understand everyone, we all have to exist together on this planet and that differences are part of what makes our world interesting.

And I wish that everyone was nice, just like in StinkyMan's world. Don't you?

Smart

Curly (filling out a gift tag): Mommy, can I write Love, Curly and Stinkyman and Peanut and BabyGirl on it?

Me: Just write "Love All of us"

Curly: OK.....how do you spell "Olevus"

Me: All. Of. Us?

Curly: Ooooooh. I know how to spell that. Never mind.

Yeah. Maybe we won't sign up for that gifted and talented program quite yet.

Expensive

StinkyMan: Mommy, did you know that when you have an itch it's good to scratch it?

Mommy: Yes, it does feel good to scratch an itchy spot, that's true.

StinkyMan: But you shouldn't scratch too hard because then you could get an owie.

Mommy: No, too hard isn't good.

StinkyMan: But four year old boys can't get owies, know why?

Mommy: Why?

StinkyMan: Because we are too expensive.

Mommy: Too expensive?

StinkyMan: Yeah, do you know what that means?

Mommy: No. What does that mean?

StinkyMan: It means that a lot of people love us.

Mommy: Oh. Well it's true, then. You are very expensive.

StinkyMan: Yeah.

My baby...

...isn't a baby anymore.

She's a full fledged toddler.

She will be 18 months this month.

Yesterday I went to pull her out of her crib after nap and, I don't know why, but when I lifted her my arms were prepped for baby weight, but it was a toddler in my arms instead.

And with sadness I realized that I really don't have a baby in the house anymore.

She's getting so big. She runs EVERYWHERE. She says "yes, no, hi, night-night, mama" and "YAY!" She is starting to throw tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. She communicates her wants and needs super effectively. She always wants to be with her siblings, because they are probably doing something fun and she recognizes that. Daddy and Grammy are the end all be all people and she lights up and squeals when she sees them.

I had a little chat with her about staying small but I don't think she cared. Why would she? None of the other kids ever did and big is fun. Little is so...babyish, which may be what I want, but will be something that she, the youngest of 4, will spend her childhood trying hard not to be.

And so with a great sigh I accept that I have run out of babies. I think I will always miss having one.

Bring it on. You know you want to comment that it must be time for one more.

And you'd be wrong. ;)

15 Minutes with StinkyMan

StinkyMan was the only one who wanted to grocery shop with me this past weekend so we hopped in the car and made the 15 minute drive to the cheapest grocery store nearby. (I won't name names, but it it rhymes with Schmal Schmart.)

Let me tell you, 15 minutes in the car with an inquisitive almost 5 year old can bring a lot of questions. I'm sure I have forgotten a few, but let me tell you what I can remember. And no, he didn't REALLY expect answers for all of them.

"Mommy is it far?"

"It is too far to walk?"

"Is it too far to run?"

"Is running faster than cars?"

"Can you make your own car?"

"Can I make a car with Daddy?'

"Why not?"

"Why do girls have babies but not boys?"

"Why did you want to have babies?"

"How come you had more girl babies?"

"Did you see that firetruck?

"Are firetrucks red because they got hot in a fire?"

"Are firetrucks faster than cars?

"Are buses?"

"Where is the store?"

"Why are we going to the store?"

"How come we runned out of food?"

"Who ate it all?"

"I didn't eat it all. Maybe it was Daddy?"

"Can I have a treat?"

"What is in that building?"

"Are we there yet?"

Thankfully the answer to that last question was yes.

Happy Valentine's Day Birthday

At first I thought I might write something mushy here for Husband for Valentine's Day. Except then I realized that our anniversary is coming up, and it's a big one, ten years, and maybe I should save the mush for then.

After thinking a bit I realized that, while I am so grateful for my husband, I do have someone else on the brain this Valentine's Day.

Today would have been my mother-in-law's birthday. She left this earth nearly 8 years ago, but has never been far from my mind.

I am one of those lucky gals who had a great mother-in-law. She was fun for me. We liked to shop together. We watched the same TV shows. When I first moved to where we lived and in with Husband (when he was still just Boyfriend. GASP!) she would often have me over for dinner, because Husband worked late hours and I was alone. She called and chatted with me on the phone. When I was a teacher, she came to my class parties and events.

She wasn't just my mother-in-law...she was my friend.

I rushed her to the hospital more than once. I spent the night so my father in law could get some relief from care giving. I hung out with her to keep her mind off her illness.

I held her hand as she lay dying.

It was my privilege to have been her daughter in law.

She never met any of my kids. Sometimes I feel sad because I know they would have adored her and she would have loved them to bits. But Curly seems to have a connection...a relationship with her Mimi that apparently transcends what most of us would define as possible. When she was 3 she set a spot for her at the table. When she was 4 she asked if Mimi would be going shopping with us. When I played dumb about who Mimi was she said "You know, Mommy! MIMI! The one who lives with us but not really?"

And just yesterday she asked if I could take her to Mimi's grave.

And so, whether you believe in heaven, or any kind of afterlife, or spirits or reincarnation or whatever, through Curly I know my mother-in-law is around.

I like that feeling. I find comfort in it. Because I do miss her.

Especially today. Happy Valentine's Day Birthday to you, my wonderful other mother. Wherever you may be.

Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to

StinkyMan, waving a necklace back and forth: Curly! Curly! Watch this and you'll be hiddentized!

Curly: Hitnotized?

StinkyMan: Dat's what I said. Hiddentized.

Curly: It's hit-no-tized. Like someone hit you in the head and you do what they say because your brain hurts. Hitnotized.

Mommy: I think maybe it's hypnotized. Hyp-no-tized.

Curly: Like someone hit you in the hip?

Mommy: Well, kinda.

Curly: That doesn't make any sense.

StinkyMan: WHATEVER! Just watch me and be hidd...be hit...be...just watch dis, okay?

Game On, Round 1 Results

I told you all about the diet/competition I have been doing with my friends called Game On, which encourages not just better eating, but a better lifestyle.

We have finished round one and I am pleased to say that my team has won, though it was a close race and I wasn't sure we would come out ahead at all.

Personally, I have lost 7.5 pounds. I was hoping for 10 pounds, but that may have been too lofty. I have also kicked the Diet Coke habit, which is a nice feeling as well. I still want one sometimes, but if I just get up and do something, I forget all about it. I can drink one without dying for another, which was my goal. I wanted to be able to have one occasionally not 2 or more per day.

I have gotten more sleep, more exercise, ingested more water and done better with my laundry chores than I ever had before, all courtesy of Game On.

I highly recommend this diet. You can read my friend Claudine's experience on her blog as well www.simplyclaudine.blogspot.com and she even tells you were to buy the book if you want.

We start round 2 later this week. I'm aiming for another 7lbs down this round. Wish me luck!

Love, Kisses and Bossiness

Husband and I have been married for nearly 10 years. We are always affectionate and I believe it is important that the children see that we love each other very much. Studies have been done that show that children witnessing their parents affection and love for one another will grow up to have healthy marriages themselves.

Apparently none of that matters to Peanut, who is rather unimpressed that her mommy still loves her daddy and vice versa, because today I was asked:

"Mommy why are you kissing Daddy?"

"Because I like Daddy."

"Stop kissing Daddy and fix my dinner!"

"Your dinner is in the oven." said Husband.

Unconvinced, she went to the oven to turn on the interior light and take a look.

And I went right ahead and stole another kiss from her Daddy.

It is so hard sometimes to remember that before we were Mommy and Daddy we were just us...a couple who had fun together and had lots to talk about besides kids and bills and all the boring stuff we seem to have to squeeze in between diapers and homework now. I'm so thankful that, after all this time and all these kids, my husband still wants to smooch on me as much as I want to smooch on him.

We're lucky. I hope someday my children are so lucky as well.

And that one day Peanut has a daughter as bossy as she is.

It would seem...

...that in the last two days I have heard a number of things a mother never really wants to hear, such as:

"Mommy! My candy is stuck in my hair!"

"Mommy! I smell something stinky in my heiny!"

"Mommy! The baby is walking on the table!"

"Mommy.....Uh-oh....never mind!"

For the record it was Laffy Taffy that I had to cut out, it was poop, BabyGirl was walking up and down our very long dining room table like a Project Runway model and the uh-oh was shower gel all over the floor.

Sigh. Who knows what the next 48 hours will bring. Motherhood is always an adventure.

UPDATE: I just had to impart this piece of wisdom to a toddler: No! We do not stick spoons in our tushies. They are for our mouths! WAIT! NO! Don't stick that spoon in your mouth. I'll get you a clean one.

Sweet boy

Last night Curly was having a mini meltdown over not getting to sit next to me at the dinner table. Let's face it, there is only one me and 4 kids. Not everyone can be next to me at every meal. She was tired, unreasonable and sobbing. She didn't want to wait until her sister was finished (Peanut being the fastest eater) and then take her seat because her dinner would get cold. She just wanted to "eat warm dinner next to Mommy!!!"

We asked her to stop. We told her her choices. She sobbed away. I said "Curly, I'm sorry, but those are your choices."

Then, a little voice next to me said "OR I could trade her places. She can sit here."

StinkyMan to the rescue.

"Are you sure, Bub?" I asked

"Yeah," he said, nodding vigorously "She can sit here. I don't mind."

Of course we made her say thank you to her brother and praised him thoroughly for his kind behavior. Dinner was saved.

Someday, some woman is going to thank me for that boy.