Disappointment

I've been saving for a new couch. Ideally new couches. They aren't a "must have" they are a "want" and so I decided to just save, little bits at a time, by selling stuff on eBay and Craigslist. Just last week my total hit $400. I began to imagine I was in striking distance of some new furniture. Not top of the line, not my dream couch, just something that looks nice, sits comfortably and isn't the worn out, stained terrors my current couches are.

And then the air conditioning in my car gave out. In California. In the summer. Nice.

I suppose it could be argued that air in a car is also not a "must have" but really, it is. I drive a Tahoe with 4 kids, which means we use the seats in the far back, with windows that don't open. And even if they did open the weather often passes 100 degrees here. Not exactly cooling to drive around with the windows down.

We are still building our emergency fund back up from all the medical bills we incurred last year, so the only real money we have is, of course, my couch fund.

It hurts. I was so close. But I think this is the nature of being a grown up. Yes I want a couch. I really want 2 couches, or maybe some kind of new set. But we need a/c in the car. And so what I want will be pushed aside for what we need. We will not charge it. We will not borrow it. We will just pay for it.

And I will wait for the sting of disappointment to disappear while I think of more things to sell.

Cooking fun

Good Mommy came for a while this weekend. It had been a while since my kids had seen her. Since summer vacation Frazzled and Crazed Mommy seems to have taken up residence in our house. But we had guests and in an effort to entertain the kids and produce something usable we made these:

Cute little bread bears to go nicely with our spaghetti and meatballs.

Here's what I did/used:

Pillsbury Grand Buttermilk Biscuit 10 pack (the kind in the tube that pops when you open them) which made one bear per kid. I had 5 kids of bear eating age.

One greased cookie sheet.

Roll 5 of the biscuits into balls. Break the other biscuits up into bits, rolling smaller balls for the heads, small balls for the legs and arms, tiny balls for the ears and itty bitty balls for the nose.

I baked them for 10 minutes. You should not. My bears were a little on the "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" side of things. You want your bear to be more Pooh Bear colored. Maybe 7 or 8 minutes? I'm guessing, though.

They were a big hit and despite being a little crunchy, were quite tasty with butter. The children, as I think most kids would, had a great time at the table eating a bear appendage and then saying things like "AHHHHHH! MY LEG!" At one point they were dipping their bears in red sauce and shrieking about bear blood. Not quite the direction I wanted dinner to go, but they all ate happily and sometimes that is all you can ask for.

Thanks to Melissa at Bloggin It for the inspiration! We'll be making these again!

Tired

I'm starting to realize that I am never again going to be well rested.

I've always been a night owl. My friend Lisa used to have to kick me out so she could go to bed because I would have talked all night if I could.

These days I love the peace the night brings. Kids are asleep, house is tidied and I can do WHATEVER I WANT.

What I should do is go to bed. But I don't. I just veg out and do nothing and it is awesome. I might watch mindless TV or surf the net or both! I could create or craft, but even that is too purposeful some nights.

The exchange for this is that I am tired. Although of course a baby who hasn't yet mastered sleeping through the night and children who wouldn't know sleeping in if it bit them in their tushies don't help. And then there is the whole having 4 kids thing in general.

Truthfully I think I have forgotten what it feels like to be well rested and when I look into my crystal ball I don't see anytime soon when I might become reacquainted with good rest. I envision the very first day BabyGirl goes to school and I think about maybe going to bed after I drop her off. I'm sure something will foil that plan, but it sounds wonderful.

Think I can make it 2 more years? Right now, I'm saying no way. I'm so sleepy....zzzzzzzzzzz.

Forward

Yesterday was the service and memorial for my friend. It was a hard day. Another friend who was there said "It's like pulling a band aid off an old wound and making it bleed again. I was just starting to process it and be OK, and then today makes me go back and start all over again in the process."

A good assessment, I thought, and a necessary step. It was both brutal and beautiful and a good celebration of who she was. There were, of course, a lot of tears, my own among them, but there was laughter too, a true testimony to who she was. She always had a lot of laughter in her. I was honored twice over, once to have the opportunity to speak at the service, as well has having the words to my blog entry about her read aloud by the pastor. Many kind words were spoken, many hugs were given and received, many stories were told.

It is time to move forward. Life is short. That's something I've heard all my life. I think, only now, do I really understand how true that is. I wish I could have learned that lesson in a less painful way, but I appreciate the lesson none the less. It's important. And if just one person learns that lesson from reading my words, then I will know that Rochelle, yet again, has touched someone else's heart like she did my own. And that would be something she would be pleased to know.

Mario Kart Waa

Not Wii. Waa. As in boo-hoo-hoo, bicker, bicker, bicker, tantrum, tantrum, tantrum.

I hate Mario Kart. Can't stand it. A) I stink at it. B) all my kids do is fight about it. Who is going to be what, which race they are going to do, whether or not they are going to take turns one at a time or play together. Or worse, one wants to play and the other does not. And C) It's just loud and annoying.

But the worst thing is being told by my son that I can't play with him because I am not good enough. Nice. Little punk. Sadly, he is not wrong. I am not as good as he is. And although I tried to "Oprah" the situation and make it a teachable moment by talking about "practice makes perfect" and whatnot he remains steadfast in his belief that I be banned from Mario Kart Wii because I'm "terrible" at it. He'd rather not play at all than play with me.

Curly on the other hand has offered to teach me how to play. I think she's looking for someone to help her kick her brother's Mario Kart heiny.

I think instead, we'll just turn it off. Going outside and enjoying the unseasonably cool July weather sounds like the best option of all.

Whir and peace

There is one household item that I cannot live without. OK, make that two. My crockpot is one. The other one that brings me great domestic happiness is my Roomba.

I had the terrible misfortune recently of Roomby's battery giving out, forcing me to live without him for a while. The floors were littered with crumbs, the carpet missing the stripes of a freshly vacuumed rug. It was a danger zone for BabyGirl with small things galore, just the size of choking hazards, everywhere she went. I could have dragged out the regular vacuum I suppose, but I think I was too depressed about Roomby to do it the old fashioned way. Or maybe that was laziness. Whatever.

BUT the new battery has arrived and my inner peace has returned. All is right with the world now that I can hear Roomby whirring away doing my bidding. Roomby doesn't sass. He doesn't complain. He doesn't say "But I didn't make the mess!" I simply push the button and Roomby turns around in a few circles like a puppy chasing it's tail, and gets to work. Domestic peace has been restored, my floors are pretty and BabyGirl can crawl without playing Russian Roulette with small objects and her trachea. Aaaahhhhhhhh.

Now if I could just find a laundry folding machine......

Randomness

Just stuff I'm thinking about:

• Why can't my baby sleep through the night?
• Who will Curly's teacher be next year?
• Is it worth paying for swim lessons for a kid who doesn't like the pool?
• If it's a laptop, why is it too hot to sit with it on my lap? Right now, it's a pillowtop
• If I go to see The Hangover, will it actually be good, or will the hype be bigger than the movie?
• Can I pull off a fancy tiered cake for BabyGirl's first birthday in 2 months?
• I can't believe she'll be one in 2 months!
• How do you become friends with other grown-ups? Is it weird to invite over a family you hardly know so you can get to know them better?
• Why do I feel guilty not going to a family reunion with a part of the family who has basically cut us off anyway? If they can't be bothered to include us for weddings, birth announcements and Christmas cards, why should we attend a reunion with them?
• What's next for Husband's career? I feel a change coming...
• Something called Baked Potato Salad should be served hot, right?
• How do people survive without using a crockpot?
• Can we help our friend the way we'd like to? Will he let us?
• Are Facebook friendships real, or just a product of ease and convenience? I like to think real....
• Why do people watch The Bachelorette? Or The Bachelor for that matter.
• Why am I up late blogging instead of sleeping?
• What should I tell my friend who wants to know the pros and cons of being a stay home mom? It's just not the same for everyone.
• Why do I pay so much for television per month when there is never a darn thing to watch?

And now I am going to go to bed and ponder these things and probably some more in the dark.