Thursday, April 16, 2009


I have a little obsession.

Well, I have more than one, really. Target is another obsession. So is bargain hunting (or bargain stalking as is often the case.) Chocolate could be an obsession, I suppose. Oh! and celebrity gossip. I love me some celebrity gossip. Blogging probably counts too, now that I think about it.

OK, so let's back up and say this instead: I have a few obsessions, but I have one in particular that is weighing on my brain today. It is the one thing I know I must have. It will make my life complete. It will make me look good. It will make me thinner. It will make my children perfect. It will end world hunger and begin world peace. And I can get it by picking up the phone.

I simply must, MUST, have a Bumpit.

OK, OK, it really won't solve wars or famine. It won't make my kids perfect (it might, though. They are very, very close already.) It won't even make me thinner. But it might make me look thinner, and that's worth something. And it will make my hair look good. That's worth a lot.

I'm not one who usually buys into these things. I am the queen of telling my kids that everything looks better than it is in commercials. But for some reason that logic does not apply to the Bumpit.

Maybe it's because I have never loved my hair. Maybe it's because it seems fast, a prerequisite for anything I do for myself these days. Maybe it's because I came into hair adulthood in the late 80's and early 90's, the days of big hair. Maybe it's because the girls in the commercial sport some really cute ponytails with Bumpits. I dunno why I think I need to have one. I just do.

What's stopping me? Well, two things. One, I secretly know it probably won't look as good as it does in the commercial. I've never had good hair because I am not good at doing my hair. A Bumpit is NOT going to change that. And I am terrified of walking down the aisles of Target and having people pointing and snickering and saying "OMG! That chick is totally wearing a Bumpit!" behind my back.

And two, it's not cheap. And I am a bargain shopper. I'm not forking out $20 for something that probably won't work the way I want.

But I'll keep dreaming and obsessing until they lower the price of the Bumpit. Because as soon as I have it I'll be fully capable of climbing Mt. Everest without breaking a nail while sporting the best hairdo EVER. I just know it.

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