Today I went to see a beloved long time friend and her week old baby. He was so tiny, BabyGirl looked like a giant next to him. He was perfect in every way. Ten itsy bitsy little fingers and ten amazing little toes. He still has the cord stump and the look of a wrinkly new resident of Earth.
And as I watched my friend with her new son, I realized that I'm good with what I have. Some of you might remember me writing about Husband's vasectomy and how I might always be sad that we're done having babies. Well, I'm not. I felt not one twinge of envy, not one pang of "Oh I wish it were me." Not one. That's not something I've experienced before. Before BabyGirl I never felt done. I always wished for another round of 9 months and new baby when I saw a pregnant woman or a newborn.
Today I felt nothing. Which is good because we are done. But I finally feel at peace. Totally secure with the choice. Today was a test and I passed.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
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YAY! Congrats! I'm so glad you have peace with your "doneness."
ReplyDeleteIt must be a good feeling. I didn't have that feeling when seeing my sister give birth. I wished it was me. Guess I'm not done yet, huh...